please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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