Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
