8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
This is classic penis vs brain.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
