In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
the room spins SO much faster in panama
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
