Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize