are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
