I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
