I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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