Wow word travels fast.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.