my room smells like sperm. sweet.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I pour the whiskey from now on
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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