Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.