Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
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I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
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Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception