How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize