Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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