Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
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you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
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I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
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