Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life