I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
