i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
So much rum. So many feels.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
