he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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