I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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