You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
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Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize