im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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