I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
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We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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