I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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