he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
