he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
