I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
