I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize