So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
