Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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