She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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