On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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