the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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