We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
