He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
