Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize