i don't plan on having that self control this summer
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
