In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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