So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize