i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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