I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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