He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
