Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
