I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
