those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure