Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
