I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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