we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
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