i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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