NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
