i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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