no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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