i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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