Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize