What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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