Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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