I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
