Is it because I queefed?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize