He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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