She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
