you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
