oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize