so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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