Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
