wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
My cat gives me a boner
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
